6 Reasons to Slow Down Before Getting Married

Marriage is a very serious commitment that shouldn’t be rushed. As romantic as it is to escape and elope privately or get married on a whim, there are too many important things to consider before taking the plunge. Sure, you and your partner may be madly in love and know that you want to spend the rest of your lives together, but have you discussed children and career goals, or have you met with a premarital counselor to prepare for the ups and down of marriage? If you answered no to any of these questions, you may be getting ahead of yourself. Marriage is for a lifetime; and if you do it right the first time, once is enough. Here are six reasons not to rush into marriage:

Divorce: One of the top reasons not to rush into marriage is the high rate of divorce in America. According to a CDC report by the National Center for Health Statistics, there were 6.8 marriages per 1,000 people and 3.4 divorces per 1,000 people in 2009. Although the marriage and divorce rates have fallen slightly, divorce remains a serious issue that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Infidelity, financial struggles and lack of time are some of the top reasons people get divorced. Until you have considered all of these factors and have spoken to your partner about them, you may not be ready for matrimony.

It’s for a lifetime: If you truly believe in the institution of marriage and upholding marital vows, then you will promise to "love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy as long as you both shall live." Marriage is forever; not until things get rocky and you give up. This commitment cannot be taken lightly. So, unless you are prepared to spend the rest of your life with this one person, you may be rushing marriage.

You don’t really know your partner: If there is anyone you should know like the back of your hand it’s your partner, especially before you get married. Sure you know his or her favorite movie, pet peeves and goals, but have you thoroughly discussed religion, careers, children, politics, division of labor and in-laws? You may be surprised by your partner’s answers to some of these pressing topics, and they may not fall in line with your beliefs or plans for the future. These conversations generally come up when you’ve been dating someone for a long time and grow closer. No matter how in love you are after a couple months of dating, you most likely don’t know each other well enough to get married. Only with time, experiences and open communication will you truly know your partner.

It’s expensive: Marriage is an expensive union. Although every couple handles their expenses and budgeting differently, finances need to be discussed beforehand so your marriage doesn’t end up costing you money. Taxes, major purchases, investments and personal financial goals are all things that need to be considered before you jump into marriage. It’s so important that both partners understand their individual financial responsibilities and have money management skills before merging their lives and bank accounts.

Marriage is not easy: Anyone who thinks marriage is a piece of cake is fooling themselves. It takes a great deal of patience, cooperation and sacrifice to better one another and do what’s best for the relationship. You have to be prepared for this kind of commitment if you want a marriage to work. Trust, communication, togetherness and appreciation are all key components to keeping a marriage healthy and balanced. There will be many ups and downs in a marriage that will test the strength of your love, but if you are committed to talking through your problems and working as a team to find a solution, you’re doing it right.

Fear of ending up alone: As romantic as it sounds to get married after only knowing each other for a short period, it is not a realistic or smart move. If you are getting married because you think you’ve found the right one and don’t want to let him (or her) go, you could be doing yourself a serious disservice. Getting hitched because you don’t want to end up old and alone is not a good reason. You have to make sure you are making the right decision and you are getting married for the right reasons. This usually comes with time, communication and considerate planning.